Posts Tagged Internet

13 Signs you might be an Internet entrepreneur

13. You know the up and down connectivity speeds to your house

12. You can rattle off your IP address faster than your SSN

11. Your focus and visualization skills are good enough to make beef jerky taste like steak

10. You keep your house at 68 degrees Fahrenheit to keep the server comfortable

9. Before you go to bed you move the laundry to make room for your iPad and laptop

8. When you travel, the first question in the morning is to your co-founder sleeping across the room: “Dude, what’s the Wi-Fi login?”

7. When you travel, you stay in the kind of hotel where your car is parked right outside the door

6. You know the current time in Delhi and today’s date but have no clue what day of the week it is

5. You think Tom’s Shoes is a great authentic story of doing social good but wouldn’t wear them

4. You know the exact cost of your healthcare coverage and what’s included – or read this and realized you don’t have any

3. Your mom sends you links to some site called

2. You miss @arrington

Number 1 sign you might be an Internet entrepreneur:  All of the above is pretty much how you planned it except Arrington leaving TechCrunch. Still miffed about that one.

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All my piazzas are dead

When I was a young geek (defined largely by the act of avoiding eye contact with girls at all costs) I didn’t have an iPhone, hundreds of Twitter followers or even this self important blog to create the illusion of cool.  That divide between cool and geek was the Grand Canyon. In fact, I’m not sure if I even considered trying to bridge the distance. Dunking a basketball was more likely than being cool.

Some people have been known to be hung up on those lockers.

While geek has become chic since then, unless you ever had to wear an eye patch and glasses you have no clue what it’s like. Most folks think geeks were loners or anti-social. Mostly we just were afraid of girls.

In reality pre-chic geeks roamed the earth in small packs — like hyenas. In a world of knuckle dragger popular kids with IROCs we found safe haven in small groups. If chased, we’d scatter to confuse the attacker and reconvene at the jungle gym at the local grade school.  Mostly we trolled the aisles of Tower Records where the universal language of music tilted the field of cool our way.  Nowhere else could the guy from the “300 Club” (this was a club in my high school comprised of jocks that could bench press 300 lbs. Most of them looked to be suffering from slight cases of Paget’s Disease. I can blog about this now because as I recall, reading was not requisite for the 300 Club) be humbled by the kids on the AV Squad. It was the projector and audio geeks who knew the difference between pre- and post-Roger Waters Pink Floyd.

There is a difference, you know.  Pink Floyd without Roger Waters is like all-natural organic peanut butter.  It just sucks.  It has no soul and it just thrashes the bread when applied.

Napster, iTunes, digital music and the Internet killed off Tower Records — one less piazza for me and my other sinewy friends to avoid girls in.  What to do, what to do?  Enter the video store.

While we could spend hours thumbing through albums and tapes at the record store, once you’re done there that’s it.  It’s over.  You don’t go home with your friends and listen to an album together.  Only losers afraid of girls do that. But with movies, you could kill an hour or two in the store then go watch the movie.  Including drive time, that’s like 4 whole hours of absolutely not talking to a girl.

All of these memories came rushing back to me as I walked by the boarded up BlockBuster video store in my neighborhood a few weeks ago. It was dark and the signage had been removed from the front of the building.  But anyone who was alive in the past 20 years could figure out what that store once was. They were unmistakable in design and screamed to me: “safety and coolness in here!”

Another piazza of my childhood killed by, yes, the computer geeks behind the Internet, Netflix and on-demand video.

I guess standing there looking at the old video store looked kind of bizarre to passersby.

I caught myself and spun around on the sidewalk and this girl was looking at me from her bitchin’ cool car.

“What the fuck are you looking at?! I have a blog ya know!”

– Jose Mallabo

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