Posts Tagged trumpet

My one lazy eye

Ever wonder why you don’t see too many cross eyed people anymore?  It seems like I haven’t seen anyone with strabismus (cross eye) since I was being treated for amblyopia (lazy eye) in grade school.  Just before the 2nd grade started I was diagnosed with lazy eye.  To treat it, my eye doctor made me wear a gauze eye patch over one eye and eyeglasses on top of the whole mess.

I can still remember the first day of school.  The horror.  I lived right across the street from school, so I walked there with my trumpet case in one hand and books in the other.

As I approached the school on my right side, I felt the sudden impending doom of 400 school kids playing in the playground all zoning in on my gauzed up eye and military issue frames.  They looked like this:

But with my natural dorkiness and the cotton eye patch, it made me feel like this:

The closer I got to the school entrance the more self conscious I became and almost involuntarily I put my trumpet case on my shoulder — carrying it how an 80’s breakdancer lugs his boombox and cardboard dance floor.  Of course, the moment I made the right turn into school, my classmates got full view of my half mummified face. Years of therapy and endless amounts of beer later, I can laugh about this but what I’d give to kick the crap out of that optometrist.

I’m convinced that while the glasses over the patch did next to nothing to cure my lazy eye, it probably scared off dozens of would be abductors and allowed me to roam the neighborhood un-menaced by playground bullies and overly aggressive homeless people.  That aside, I’d’ve rather just walked around with a baseball bat in my hand and sharpened wood chisel in my pocket vs. wearing scuba gear on my head.

Needless to say, I’m glad kids and parents have medical alternatives to this today.

Now to get rid of band camp.

– Jose Mallabo

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